I'm Pregnant! Now What?Oct 22, 2022
If you've just discovered you're pregnant (planned or not), it can come with a range of emotions!
Becoming pregnant is such a unique moment in every person's life. Either it's filled with tons of anticipation and excitement, loads of fear and uncertainty, or literally everything in between.
And each time it happens (if more than once), it can feel different depending on where you are in life.
When you discover you're pregnant, you tend to ask yourself a ton of questions. But the first one that typically comes up is:
There is no typical response to this moment. Every experience is different. Every pregnancy its own nuanced moment in time.
But there are few basic steps that you can take to help get you on the path towards having the pregnancy experience you desire and deserve.
Rock with me on this one...
First things first, CONGRATS!
It takes a very precise window of time for a person to become pregnant. And yet here you are. Whether this fills you with glee or terror, at least recognize how incredible your body is for the work it is doing.
Once the initial shock has begun to slightly balance out (it can remain shocking for quite some time), now it's time to do a few things. Let's explore:
The moment you discover your pregnancy test, many will caution to go see a doctor right away and find out your due date. And yes, this should happen soon.
But first you want to gather YOURSELF. From this moment forward, a lot of attention goes to baby (and rightfully so). But you can't neglect yourself or forget about the importance of your mental health.
- TAKE IN THE MOMENT. However you feel is perfectly okay. You don't have to feel how anyone expects you too. It doesn't have to resemble the last time you were pregnant. And you don't owe anyone an explanation for how you feel. Give yourself time to just be with yourself. See how you feel. Be honest about where you are. And be patient with the journey your emotions may take you on.
- DO SOME RESEARCH. Before you go see a doctor, do some research FIRST. Collectively, we give birth in big business (my "why" for creating Freakuency Fit). A business model designed to make money. And that money is made off of the trauma (and over medicalization) done to birthing women. Most of this occurs because there is a lack of awareness about options. You want to start tapping into this trust of self and intuition NOW. If you begin your journey completely dependent on what your doctor says, you will find yourself at the mercy of someone else. And that leaves you up to chance. The more you learn, the safer you and your baby will be. Need a good place to start? Check out "Surviving Childbirth" (5 unconventional steps to trauma-free birth, & the top 13 myths about childbirth that must be busted).
- EXPLORE YOUR OPTIONS so that you can be the boss of your own experience. So that you can make informed decisions from the start. You do not HAVE to birth in a hospital, or with medication, or have a cesarean section just because you had one previously. Learn and explore. THEN reach out to find the medical team that fits YOUR needs. Need a good place to start? Explore the blogs on this site, birthing courses, ebooks, or literally just type into google "child birth options".
- REACH OUT WHEN YOU'RE READY. Once you feel confident that you have a basic understanding and clarity of your moment (don't worry, it won't take long!), start reaching out to medical teams (doctors or midwives). You DO NOT have to keep the same doctor/midwife the entire way through. Find someone(s) who values you, listens to you, honors your wishes, makes you feel safe, seen, and heard, and that treats you as if you only have one body.
UP YOUR SELF CARE
When we talk about self care, it usually refers to care of the outer self. But trust me when I say, this level of self care is going to start from the INSIDE. A few tips:
- TAKE AN ASSESSMENT OF YOUR PHYSICAL HEALTH. Yes, ideally you want to be in great health when you become pregnant. But life happens. And we're not always where we want to be when the news comes. The GREAT news is that it's never too late to make some adjustments. As to not become overwhelmed, focus on increasing your water intake (adding lemons is awesome), increase your fruits and veggies (don't fear fruit! - your liver thrives on the glucose provided by fruit), and try to reduce processed foods & sugars. Just starting here can make a world of a difference. As you move throughout your pregnancy, your medical team can help you with your unique needs.
- TAKE AN ASSESSMENT OF YOUR MENTAL HEALTH. Where are you right now in terms of your mental health? As you move throughout your pregnancy, things change on so many levels (neuro-chemically, physically, energetically, and more). You don't have to have it all together. You don't have to know everything (no one does). Pregnancy depression is a very real thing that no one talks about. So you want to honestly assess where you are right now.You MUST have is an openness to learning throughout your journey (and dropping the guilt of your past or present). A willingness to heal and find forgiveness of yourself first. Motherhood is a never ending journey. You will learn yourself more and more as your child grows. But the first step is awareness of where you are, and where you want to be. Softly, take that first step towards self forgiveness.
- TAKE AN ASSESSMENT OF YOUR EMOTIONAL HEALTH. Everyone is going to tell you that you are moody and emotional because you're pregnant. And part of that is true. But there is so much that goes on when you become pregnant that no one speaks of. There is this knowing that things will be different, and at times a fear of the unknown. There's this intuitive part of you that recognizes you are sacrificing all that you once were, to become someone new. This is huge. And it requires compassion and patience. Feel how you feel, and be okay with where you are. Self grace is the name of the game. And knowing that you don't have to respond to everyone and everything.
- LEARN WHAT TO EXPECT PHYSICALLY. Your body is going to change ALOT. Pregnancy fatigue anyone? If you can learn about these changes early on, it can help you as you move along. Explore what to expect in terms of symptoms, and what is happening as your baby grows and develops (it gets really exciting!). Click here for a great resource to get you started.
- TAKE CARE OF YOUR GROWING BODY & BABY. There are some things you'll want to avoid such as processed meats, caffeine (as much as possible), alcohol, certain environments, perfumes, radiation, and so forth. You want to ensure that you are hydrated during your pregnancy. You want to move your body and stretch your hips. Explore prenatal fitness and health classes to help you better care for your changing body.
FIND YOUR COMMUNITY
- FIND SOMEONE(s) that you can openly communicate with, void of judgement. Pregnancy opens up a lot of thoughts and feelings you may not have known you had. There's a lot of joy and discomfort simultaneously, and it can feel overwhelming at times. As beautiful as it is, you need support. We all do. Find your support that makes you feel safe and heard.
- FIND A SUPPORT GROUP (like this one), online birth courses, or pregnancy and labor books that help you increase your knowledge and awareness. This ultimately helps to reduce anxiety and fear (increasing your overall confidence and trust in your body and baby).
PLAN FROM WHERE YOU ARE
- TAKE A LOOK AT YOUR FINANCES. Baby's aren't cheap. And living life isn't either. But just know, that you don't have to be exactly where you want to be financially (there's always a "better" time to have a baby then when you're actually having one). But now is definitely a good time to honestly assess where you are, and where you can better care for your finances. Having a baby can add to the stress of financial strains. Be open to researching programs or financial assistance, should you need extra help. It may take a bit more research, but you want to improve your financial health alongside your physical.
- DECIDE IF YOU WANT TO SHARE THE NEWS AND WHEN. There is no rule for when you need to share pregnancy announcements. You can do them if you want, or not. You can make a big thing, or not. You can throw a gender reveal party and shower, or not. There is no one way to do anything. But you want to think it through ahead of time. Sometimes, the more people that are involved, the more stressful it can be. So assess where you are in life, the level of support you need, and the amount of extra energy you'd like around yourself during this time. There is no right or wrong answer. Only listening to or ignoring your intuition.
- START PLANNING. The concept of planning depends on how much of a planner you are. If you are very detailed oriented, this is your time to start making lists (nursery items, planning your leave from work, extra support, to-do items, projects to complete, etc). If the thought of planning feels overwhelming, don't try to do it all at once; just start somewhere. And the starting place usually centers around learning about the process. The more you know & learn, the more comfortable you feel in the decisions you begin to make. Talk with other moms, friends, family, and discover what works best for you.
In the end, there's no right or wrong way to go about the news of pregnancy. But if you take these steps, in any order that best suits you, you'll be well on your way to making informed, confident decisions about your body and baby from this point forward.
Be open to learning, growing, and evolving your plans. Be okay with not knowing it all. Have fun as you move throughout your journey. Remember that YOU are the boss. And most importantly, flow with your process. Time moves by quickly. So be sure to enjoy and relish in your moment.
What you should do next:
#1) Subscribe to my newsletter below for weekly tips, inspiration, tools, and truthful information to help you feel more confident and ready for your journey into and throughout motherhood.
#2) Click here to receive a FREE copy of my #1 most downloaded book: Birth Goddess. This book offers my top 10 tips to have an empowered and peaceful labor & childbirth.
#3) Start your course today! Join other birthing goddesses just like you who are stepping into their power and experiencing incredibly peaceful, trauma-free childbirth. After working with over 3,000 moms, I can honestly say there is something here for every one ;)
#4) Visit the Freakuency Fit Library. Want more information but not sure where to start? Browse the collection of books & audio books covering pregnancy, childbirth, and postpartum. Find what you need to have the experience you deserve.
#5) Click here to grab a copy of my latest book "Surviving Childbirth": 5 unconventional steps to trauma-free birth, & the top 13 myths about childbirth that must be busted". This book right here is a game changer for anyone looking to truly become the boss of your own birth.
With love & light xo
Written by Danielle Jai Watson @DanielleJaiWatson
Founder/ Cosmic Doula @FreakuencyFit
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