The Power in NOT RespondingAug 01, 2022
There's more power in NOT responding to mom shammers, feeling judged, unwarranted and unrequested suggestions, and everything else that you have to deal with!
Rock with me on this one…
Somebody comments on your photo.
👉🏽Somebody talks about your belly.
Some stranger digitally "shames you" for your baby's outfit.
Somebody talks about your “baby weight”.
nursing in public.Someone shames you for
👉🏽Someone convinces you that you aren't producing enough milk supply.
Someone shames you for not breastfeeding at all.
If you’re a mom on planet Earth, you likely know what this feels like.
All of a sudden, everyone has an opinion and knows exactly what to do to cultivate a whole, loving, kind, fearless, compassionate, openminded, loving, proud, and all around awesome human being.
And why is it that people are so confident telling you what to do? Is it because they've mastered parenting? Did they get everything “right”? Is their life perfect? Does your life impact theirs in the least bit?
As comical as it may read, this is actually how comical it is for anyone to comment on your life. It’s just as comical as you commenting on someone else’s life.
How can I know what would work for someone else when I’m literally learning myself and figuring life out in real time, every day, all day?
The truth is that, whenever someone comments on your choices, parenting styles, your appearance, your photos, whatever…
It literally has NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU, EVER.
It may seem like it does. I mean, it’s your page damnit!
But still…someone’s opinion (or attack) on you and your life never has anything to do with you. It’s literally not personal.
You’re either completely over me at this point, or intrigued. Either way…it’s never personal and it’s never about you.
Every single person on this planet is living their own dream, in their own movie. They see the world in their own way based on memories, experiences, the way they were brought up, where they grew up…this list is quite literally endless.
The way you see someone else is never how they see themselves…because how can you know every single detail that they perceive the world with?
There’s no way to know what anyone else is thinking, feeling or believing (even if they say it).
All day we lie to ourselves: "I’m not good enough, smart enough, skinny enough, brave enough, rich enough...". So how can we expect everyone around us to be telling us the truth?
This is not to say that people are intentionally lying to you all day. But it’s a reminder that we lie to ourselves all day long.
We are constantly filling our minds and bodies up with non-truths, and we are beating ourselves up about them as if they were in fact true.
If we are then capable of doing this to ourselves, then imagine what others are going through as well. So when they make a comment about anything you're doing (understanding that people are in their own movies), then it means they are simply making comments about their perception of their world — meaning, it’s simply about them. It’s never about you.
When a person judges your choices, it’s never about you — it's how they feel about themselves. When you are happy, grateful, filled with love, how can you ever find the time nor energy to comment on anyone else? And this is not a sarcastic question.
When was the last time you spent an entire 24 hours in pure happiness? Where nothing annoyed you; where you didn’t feel mad about something; where you didn’t complain?
Most people haven’t experienced this one time (since they were children I’d imagine). So it’s pretty shocking at how much time people can spend commenting on you, right?
So rather than responding to prove that you’re “right”, or proving anything…remember it’s not about you anyway…the power is in NOT responding.
How is this powerful? Because it puts the responsibly of your life in your hands…not someone else’s opinion.
The moment you feel the need to respond, this is the moment you are operating out of ego. By responding, you’re literally only proving that someone or something outside of you can illicit a response.
You never prove anything, no matter how strong your response, because it was never about you to begin with. Anyone with the audacity to tell you what to do with your life is operating out of a limited frame of mind, and it’s highly unlikely they are about to change their minds based on the most clever response you can think of.
But imagine what you can do with that time and energy instead.
You can give that time you would have crafted the perfect response to working on true self forgiveness, or healing through your postpartum (inclusive of postpartum anxiety, depression, PTSD, psychosis, or baby blues).
The first few times will seem crazy hard. You’re going to be fuming inside. And if you can resist the urge to respond, after a few minutes or hour, you’ll see just how laughable it all is. Because that person doesn’t matter, and the comment was never about you.
You only respond and you only get upset about something if it’s true. If it’s not, why so upset? Don’t worry about your reputation — if your solid, it’s solid.
There’s power in not responding. There’s power in understanding that it’s never personal and it’s never about you. There’s power in giving energy to yourself and not others (especially strangers online).
Try it out. And see what happens when you don’t respond. See how long it takes you to move on and forget about it. Check yourself and go inward to see why you want to respond in the first place.
Take note, learn the lesson for your life, and keep it moving!
Feel the power in not taking things personally.
And watch how transformational your life, especially your life as a mom, will reveal itself to you.
What you should do next:
#1) Subscribe to my newsletter below for weekly tips, inspiration, tools, and truthful information to help you feel more confident and ready for your journey into and throughout motherhood.
#2) Click here to receive a FREE copy of my #1 most downloaded book: Birth Goddess. This book offers my top 10 tips to have an empowered and peaceful labor & childbirth.
#3) Start your course today! Join other birthing goddesses just like you who are stepping into their power and experiencing incredibly peaceful, trauma-free childbirth. After working with over 3,000 moms, I can honestly say there is something here for every one ;)
#4) Visit the Freakuency Fit Library. Want more information but not sure where to start? Browse the collection of books & audio books covering pregnancy, childbirth, and postpartum. Find what you need to have the experience you deserve.
#5) Click here to grab a copy of "Wild Mama": 10 steps to self grace and love when you feel like you've lost your identity. A very powerful quick read for anyone hoping to add more grace, patience, joy, and forgiveness of self during your postpartum healing.
With love & light xo
Written by Danielle Jai Watson @DanielleJaiWatson
Founder/ Cosmic Doula @FreakuencyFit
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