Tips for Identifying & Healing Through Emotional Addictions

Apr 01, 2023

Quantum sciences don’t often talk about the nuances of mind, body, energy AND motherhood. This is the exact time when we need it.

I’ve always been fascinated with neurology, cosmology, quantum physics and the like. But I always wished the unique challenges we face in motherhood could be better intertwined into this conversation.

One in particular that could really serve us well is understanding emotional addictions.

Short story:

A mom is trying to get her 2 year old down the steps, but doesn’t realize her 10 month old has crawled out of the play area. Within two seconds of checking on her 10 month old and looking at her 2 year old, the 10 month old has maneuvered to the edge of the steps and fell down.

The mom panics, screaming out of fear. This is her worst nightmare.

She feels like such a failure because her baby has just fallen down the steps. She checks, baby is fine. Both kids are crying, which causes her to feel even more overwhelmed.

She gathers both babies, calms them down. They both laugh and start to play. It’s over for them.

But what about mom…

She sits there watching her kids intently, replaying the moment over and over and over. Her kids have moved on, but why can't she? What’s really going on?

Rock with me on this one...

The moment baby fell down the steps, mom's body went into fight or flight.

The adrenaline rushed through her body, and she sprung into action. The blood flowed away from her organs, right to her extremities giving her extra energy and strength needed for this task.

This is the equivalent of the antelope running from the lion. It gets extra strength to run.

👉🏽But what happens once the babies are both calmed down and playing happily?

👉🏽Once mom knows that everyone is alright?

👉🏽Does she go back to a state of homeostasis like the antelope does once the lion is no longer a threat?

👉🏽Is she calmed down?

👉🏽Does her body know that she doesn’t need to be stressed anymore?

The moment she replays the scenario in her head, her body is starting to connect with this thought on an emotional level.

The more times she replays the moment, the more her body starts to crave the emotion associated with it.

The mind doesn’t know the difference between what’s happening in real time, and the thoughts we are having in real time.

Once mom replays the scenario in her mind, her brain AND body believe that it is happening AGAIN. Thus, her body keeps going to this state of fight or flight, as if she is in a life saving situation over and over, while she is seated watching her kids play.

They have forgotten about it. But mom? She replays is again and again…

And each time she does her body becomes more convinced that it is happening again and again. And the more it happens, the more the body starts to crave the feeling.

But it doesn’t just crave the feeling…it needs a stronger dose. Sound like addiction yet?

The body is now chasing an emotional high. Even though it doesn’t make you feel “good”, your body is now becoming addicted to this emotionally heightened state.

And when this mom's friend calls to check on her, she tells the story again…reliving it, and becoming more emotionally addicted to it.

The more addicted she becomes, the more her mind and body are identifying with this feeling of stress. And the more she tells the story, the more this adrenaline rush keeps happening in her body.

But this emotion doesn’t just stay in the body and do nothing.

It’s energy. Everything is literal energy. You and I are energy. Your thoughts are energy. Your body is energy.

And the more this mom relives this past moment as if it were happening right now, over and over, her energy is being rerouted to ensure that she can survive this over and over.

Now when her spouse comes home, and she retells the story again, this time she cries and says she feels like a failure. This is the precise moment when her body got an extra dose it’s been craving.

Not only is she becoming more addicted to this feeling (unconsciously I might add), but now she is starting to validate her feelings by identifying herself with the moment (by calling herself a failure, she is validating the body).

As far out as this may seem, think about how often we do this as moms. We do this about everything. And we are feeding into our bodies addiction to feeling unworthy, incapable, less than, not enough…the list is endless.

And when you are already sleep deprived, and learning how to cultivate a whole human being, while not losing yourself in the process…this quite literally drains your energy supply.

What energy?! You’re already walking on thin ice with this energy thing. Hours of broken and interrupted sleep, always worrying about your baby’s safety, trying to feed them, forgetting to feed yourself…you catch my drift.

This is why understanding emotional addictions is very empowering for moms. Because your nuances are very time sensitive.

The more we miss the opportunity to shake our bodies out of these emotional cravings, the more intense they become and the harder it gets to soften our grip on those concretized assumptions (aka beliefs).

The great news though, is that your mind is extremely creative, and it can change at any given time: cue nueroplasticty.

You brain is not hardwired. Your body isn’t the ruler. And you aren’t doomed to feeling hopeless and tired forever.

You are capable of so much! Start with recognizing where your emotional addictions are. You don’t have to live up to this imaginary standard of perfection. If you’re trying to do this, you will always feel like a failure. But perfection is not a requirement, and you are the one making the rules of this rule book.

👉🏽Decide today that you will first acknowledge your emotional addictions.

👉🏽Don’t try to overcome them in one day.

👉🏽Just take it day by day.

👉🏽And with each day of remembering that you are stronger than your body’s craving, each day you will start to alleviate your body from a state of chronic stress.

Heart coherence is powerful tool that you can use to start freeing your mind, body and energy.

You are more than your thoughts. You are more than your feelings. And you can transmute your energy right here, right now. Click here to learn more.

What you should do next:

#1) Subscribe to my newsletter below for weekly tips, inspiration, tools, and truthful information to help you feel more confident and ready for your journey into and throughout motherhood.

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#5) Click here to grab a copy of "Wild Mama": 10 steps to self grace and love when you feel like you've lost your identity. A very powerful quick read for anyone hoping to add more grace, patience, joy, and forgiveness of self during your postpartum healing.